As I look out from my window I see the new and long awaited blooms of my magnolia trees. Some are fraile and not yet opened enough to see their full beauty while others have opened too soon and have suffered from the unexpected frost.
A friend of mine reminded me that today (Holy Saturday) is a day of stillness, of waiting and of hope. It could not be more fitting for how I am feeling.
After many years of living with my mother I am without her. Her mental state became too difficult and she has become a danger to herself. I had to make the hardest decision of my life and now my mom is in the first level of hospice for alzheimers and severe dementia patients at a memory care facility close to home.
I am overwhelmed with sadness and like in the stillness of today, I yearn for stillness within myself. I hope for the moment when I will find peace in my decision and wait for the day when my mom's suffering will end and she may be whole once more and I may finally have peace to know my mother is resting in the joy of heaven.
LisaApril 21. Brought my mom back home today.